SmartWool and Eggnog

Well, folks, I am back home in Simpsonville, SC, on a medical separation from Peace Corps. It is a bit difficult to explain/comprehend, but basically, when I was a sophomore in high school I had to deal with some generalized anxiety, a bioligical predisposition I received due to heredity. As you all know, I am quite laid back and easy going, so this may be hard to understand. I've tried to explain it like this: even as my conscious thought precess may not see something as a big deal, my body still reacts as if it is, producing feelings of anxiety that I don't have a lot of control over. (If you would like to know more, just let me know.) It hasn't been much of an issue in the last six or so years, but last week it flared up a bit, so on Monday I visited the Peace Corps nurses in Lomé in order to learn about the options available for treatment before I went to post. They informed me that there are no resources available in Togo, and I should go home and have it addressed, and then apply for reinstatement if I want. Thirty hours later I was at the Lomé airport, and thirty hours after that my parents picked me up at GSP.

Needless to say, I am quite confused as my life has changed so dramatically and unexpectedly in the last week. I am planning on applying for reinstatement to Togo, but it is impossible to predict these things, so right now I'm just trying to enjoy the cool weather and holiday cheer.

After I learned the news of my imminent departure from Togo, I realized that this worst case scenario was one of return to a loving family and friends to a home where all of my needs can be met and provided for with relative ease. As my previous entry explains, a major part of my motivation for doing Peace Corps was to experience a more typical, basic human existence on Earth. And even as I've had to leave a life of day-to-day living dominated by needs of survival, I believe I am experiencing the most basic aspect of life, for what's more basic than personal adversity and self preservation? My life thus far has been incredibly free of major adversity - no one close to me has died, I've never had to worry about financial struggles, my basic needs have been provided to me by an incredibly supportive family, and I've pretty much been able to do whatever I want whenever I want. This is the first time I've had a significant barrier to my desires, and I know this will allow me to grow in a different way than if I was able to continue my Peace Corps service with no problems. While my time home means I am not able to further deepen my first hand perspective of the oppressed, of the typical human being, this new and unexpected adventure of personal adversity and self preservation is even more basic, as it is an experience shared by all of humankind, regardless of birthplace or economic class.

I sincerely hope to have this issue addressed and to return to Togo as soon as I can, as I have gained a love for the people and their culture, but I also am trying to just take it one day at a time. Thank you to all of my friends and family, as I cannot imagine dealing with this sudden change without your love and support. And to my Peace Corps/Togo pals, I miss y'all a lot, and I can't wait to hear about your times at post and to return to you as soon as possible. I made a Togolese friend on the trans-Atlantic flight, Komi, who now lives in Omaha, and he told me that there is a Togolese restaurant there that serves fufu, so I'm thinking Frosty, Wan and I will need to have a little rendez-vous in Laura's eclectic hometown.

Du courage!